Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
