just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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