How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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