How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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