I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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