I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
