He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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