in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
