If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
