I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
