So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
