It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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