This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
