I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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