Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
