I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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