I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
