i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
