you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
