and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
being pregnant is like rehab
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
