Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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