The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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