love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
pray to the hookup gods
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
