hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize