gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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