I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
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how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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