we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
