i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
