I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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