I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
