And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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