nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
