the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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