I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
