I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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