i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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