im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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