i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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