did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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