How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
