i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
