onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
