I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think my vagina is haunted
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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