I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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