guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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