When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
