Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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