Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
