I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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