Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
