Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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