Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
