So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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