Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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