this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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