I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Randomize
