JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
