hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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