why didn't you poke me back
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
