at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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