somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
