i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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