Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize