I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
